Pansy's Miracle Melon
by MJ Valentines
Summary: Written for theriptide45's Fruit Competition. Pansy brings a new flavour to the latest Slytherin party.


The Slytherin common room was eerily quiet for 3pm on this particular Saturday Afternoon. Draco Malfoy was spending it as he always did, lying across the largest sofa in the common room and glaring at anyone who dared disturb him. There was of course only one person that completely disregarded this well known fact.

"DRACO!" shouted a 'delicate' voice from the common room door.

Rolling his eyes and ignoring her Draco continued staring into space deliberating the best way to convince Blaise that doing his Transfiguration homework would benefit the House Quidditch team.

"DRACO I KNOW YOU'RE ON THAT SOFA! I NEED A HAND!" the voice shouted again.

Sighing a sigh that only a spoilt wealthy pureblood could he raised himself up on his elbows and glanced over the back of the sofa to the door to see what she was yelling about. The sight was not one he had expected.

Pansy was leaning against the wall, trying to catch her breath. Her face was slightly flushed and she had her hand on her hip, giving Draco her Don't-you-dare-not-help-me-after-everything-I've-done-for-you face. But what was really shocking was the item at her feet.

There sat a ridiculously large Watermelon.

"What on earth is that?" he asked.

"It's a watermelon!" raising her eyebrows at the stupidity of the question

"I can see that! I want to know why you have one in the common room?"

"It's for the party next week" she said, her face lighting up with childish wonder at whatever genius idea she was running with.

"Can you please help me get it up to my room?" she begged cocking her head to the side and fluttering her eyelashes.

"Pansy are you or are you not a witch?" he said whilst lying back down.

"Oh yeah" Pansy cleared her throat "Wingardium Leviosa" and with a giggle she was gone.

"And she calls herself a Pureblood!"

"I HEARD THAT" came her voice from the dormitories.

-ONE WEEK LATER-

The common room was decorated for the party, and in true Slytherin style that just meant the sofas were pushed to the edge of the room to clear the space in the middle and every available surface was filled with numerous bottles of alcohol.

Every surface that is except for the coffee table in the middle of the room in which Pansy had ordered no-one to touch. Everyone had learnt not to question Pansy's party pieces, Strip twister, Seven Minutes in Heaven and I Have Never had all turned out to be extremely successful.

Once the party was in full swing Pansy ran off to her room to collect her party piece.

"TA DA!" Pansy placed the melon down and looked around expectantly at her friends but was just met with a sea of confused faces.

"Pansy we are not going to eat fruit at a party! I don't even eat fruit in the Great Hall! What a buzz kill" moaned Blaise as he went to turn away from her.

"Yes you will, Blaise Zabini! I've worked too hard on this. Every day this week I've been feeding this little beauty!"

"Feeding? She's gone mad!"

"I have not! I've been feeding it every day with half a litre of every Slytherins favourite food" she said proudly

"Firewhiskey? You've been feeding it Firewhiskey?"

"Oh Blaisey you have no clue! This is not just a watermelon! This watermelon contains more alcohol than everything you boys are holding!"

The guys looked around between them. Blaise and Theo were passing a bottle of Firewhiskey between them and pouring it into their shot glasses, Adrian was swigging from his own bottle, whilst Draco…..being Draco had a bottle in each hand.

"You put alcohol….. in a melon?"

"Yes I did," Pansy replied smugly.

"Why would you waste alcohol like that?" groaned Theo

"Oh my poor naïve little boys, you have no idea!" Pansy picked up the large knife and swung it at the bulbous fruit infront of her cutting it in. Pieces of melon flew in every direction splattering those closest with a spattering of pink juice.

"Enough with the dramatics Pans" said Draco morosely as he waved his wand and chopped the rest into even slices.

As the boys tentatively looked at her she picked up the nearest slice and held it up to her mouth

"Bottoms up!" she said as she raised the fruit in salute and sunk her teeth into the pink melony goodness. Her eyes screwed up as the juice from the melon spilled across her chin. She swallowed the fruit before taking a deep breath. "Great Merlin that's strong."

That was all it took for the boys to all grab a slice and follow suit.

It took one bite for the boys to claim the Melon inappropriate for the lower years and so the 5 friends sat around the table gorging on Pansy's Miracle Melon.

-FIVE HOURS LATER-

The Slytherin common room was a disaster! The seventh years were all passed out on the chairs whilst the lower years had been relegated to finding the most comfortable piece of the dungeons stone floors.

The Melon carcass was left discarded on the table, completely sucked dry.

Light was shining through one of the tiny windows that surrounded the top walls of the common room, waking the sleepy Slytherins.

"I feel like death!" complained Blaise

"I warned you that you shouldn't have had that 5th slice" responded Adrian in his perfect know-it-all tone.

"Do you people have to talk to loudly!" Grumbled a sixth year who was dragging himself back to the comfort of his own bed.

With a series of moans the boys simply rolled over and tried to fall asleep to wait until one of them was strong enough to go in search of the hangover cure.

That Melon was genius Pans!" mumbled Draco as he stretched out on his sofa.

"I know" said Pansy licking her lips "I've got three more brewing upstairs."

Smirking to himself Draco was wondering what it would take to get his hands on one of those glorious watermelons.


End file.
